“Everything really depends on the strength of their connection-which will have to be weighed against whatever tension now exists between IKHWIB, his boyfriend, and his parents. “He has to ask himself if the boyfriend is worth it,” said Hodges. Betsy Hodges, on the other hand, knew exactly what to say.
It may seem kind of random that the former mayor of Minneapolis is giving you sex advice, IKHWIB, but Hodges reached out to me after I posted your letter to Twitter, where I told my followers-the former mayor of Minneapolis among them-that I was going to run your letter in my column even though I didn’t have the faintest idea what to tell you. That’s a tough thing to navigate, but laughter helps.” “It might be a while before he can look at his boyfriend and not think about his parents having sex. “If they’ve been able to laugh about this, that’s a good sign,” said Betsy Hodges, who was the mayor of Minneapolis from 2014 to 2018. With that said, IKHWIB, do you know who I think should weigh in on this? The former mayor of Minneapolis. Third, since I helped create a world where 40-something couples with kids sometimes have MMF threesomes with 20-something bisexual dudes, IKHWIB, this is all my fault, oh my God, what have I done, can you ever forgive me? Second, if couples in their 40s with teenage children at home are gonna have threesomes with guys in their 20s-and some are-there will always be a hard-to-quantify-but-nevertheless-ineliminable risk that their children, once grown, could wind up meeting and fucking and even falling in love with one of the guys their parents had a threesome with back in the day. I came to a few realizations.įirst, I can still be surprised. and then laying in a dark room with a cool washcloth over my eyes for six hours. Please help us find a way to move past this!Ī: I’ve been writing Savage Love for almost 30 years-it’ll be 30 years this September-and I rarely get letters that surprise me anymore. But also, my boyfriend fucked my parents! I’m mortified, he’s mortified, they’re mortified, and I may never be able to look at my parents again. I recognize that no one did anything wrong-they were three consenting adults-and it’s not like anyone could’ve known that he and I would get together in the future. But it turns out that ten years ago, during his “big bi slut phase” (his words), they had a threesome. This weekend he met my parents for what we thought would be the first time. I’ve known that he’s a lot more sexually experienced than I am, but it’s never been a big deal before now. Q: I’m a 24-year-old gay man with a 31-year-old bi boyfriend.